Here I am in Ireland after a year and the world is coming to grips with the new normal, I read that in the 1918 Flu somewhere between 17 and 50 or as many as 100 million people died because they had no vaccine and it just had to take it’s course.
Today 5 million people have died due to covid-19 or as many as 17 million depending on how it was counted.
As bad as that is and as grateful as I am we now live in a world that can make a vaccine that will help us get through this. With booster shots every year and growing immunity as our bodies get used to covid it will in a few years be just like a flu shot.
But for those of us who moved out of everything we knew to a better place the feeling of loss is there. I was forced to move from my home. Under different circumstances we always intended to leave and find a nice place to settle to. But being forced puts you in a state of limbo. I have struggled with this since I moved and waiting for the world to get out of the pandemic just makes it linger. What will my new life look like and when will it begin?
I know how lucky I am in so many ways but that doesn’t mean it’s not frustrating to have your life in a flux. You want to have a feeling of home and happy but there is an unsettled feeling that doesn’t go away. I just keep hoping I will in time as get used to my life here. We didn’t so much move to Ireland as we left Los Angeles and that makes a difference.
It doesn’t mean it’s bad here at all, it’s a much better life an almost every way, but that’s not what gives you the feeling of home. It’s more than just the place you are living at. I have no regrets in what we had to do, I just hope we will figure out how to emotionally move now that the bodies have done it!